Must Love Traif

I was sitting in the car this weekend with my cousin and mother when we somehow got on the topic of promiscuous roommates. I mentioned a college roommate who was, by far, the worst roommate ever. I try not to judge, but she actually used my dish towels to clean up after a rendezvous and then told me I might want to wash them. Might? I might want to burn them. I demanded she buy me new ones. Anyway, I digress. My cousin mentioned she recently had a roommate who frequently shared stories about her adventures. She began relaying some of the stories, but my mom had to keep stopping her to ask for explanations, which she would then follow with “I’ve never done that.” I was sitting in the back seat with my head between knees trying not to vomit as my mom commented on threesomes. Even now, I’m feeling nauseous. Oh god, I need a ginger ale.