The first date of my dating doubleheader had all the excitement of an ingrown hair. Hopefully, Jacques Cousteau will have more personality than the limp (formerly flying) Dutchman.
Saturday is shaping up to be the apex of my online dating saga. I have back to back dates. The first guy, aka the Flying Dutchman, is Dutch, swarthy (like me), and Jewish. The second guy, aka Jacques Cousteau (he’s a marine biologist), is tall, blond, and Jewish. I’m supposed to meet one at 3:00 and the other later in the evening. I have a sneaking suspicion that one, or both of them, will flake on me seeing as how they set the date and time, but didn’t set a place to meet.
I do tend to think the worst of men, though. I attribute this to my years of online dating and the scores of douche bags, hobbits, leeches, gropers, and all around schmucks I’ve come across.
We’ll see what happens. Worst comes to worst, they both ditch me and I do some online shopping and eat a box of Lucky Charms (my new guilty pleasure).
This alone makes me want to leave your profile.
I’m sorry, I can’t take you seriously.
I get bored and shop online. Thank you, Amazon, for your massive selection of reasonably priced things I don’t need. Cookbooks and socks and makeup, oh my!
I was just on Facebook. It seems everyone I know has a baby. I do feel a sense of longing, but it’s for a Bellini, not a baby. I would take an attractive, tall, and employed man over the Bellini, though. I think they might be a myth, however.
Is there an emoticon for rolling your eyes?