I went on Match for the first time since being in Israel and was intensely disappointed by my matches. Actually, intensely is not a strong enough word. How can Jewish men differ so much from one country to another?
Heading to the airport for my trip to Israel. I love traveling, but hate flying, so I will be inducing sleep with red wine. Hoping I stay out for the duration. If not, I’ll keep busy with terrible food and movies. Bloodshot eyes are very attractive.
I used to think to myself, I’m never going to find the one, and it would ruin my day. Now I think to myself, I’m never going to find the one, but at least there’s chocolate, and cheese danish, and fried things. I’m a work in progress.
I logged onto Jdate after a week off and it’s just as I left it, bleak. Most of my options are members of the lollipop guild and or/guys who are so willowy that they’d blow over if I burped in their vicinity. There are also a few Jersey Shore wannabes (in DC?). I can’t forget the much older men who seem to be intrigued by me. My mom did say I was an old soul, but that doesn’t mean I want old junk. What I do want is to binge on something. Hmm…chocolate or cocktails?
I’ve seen this Israeli guy three times. His profile says private security, then he told me he sold burglar alarms, then I Googled him and found out he’s a locksmith. Granted, they all fall under the umbrella of private security, but there is something decidedly unsexy about a a locksmith. Of course, if I get locked out of my apartment I’ll probably eat my words.
I’m thinking of bailing on my date tonight. I’d rather go home and finish unpacking my heaps of stuff. My room is such a disaster, it’s making me crazy. Perhaps, the “my sister has no one else to babysit excuse?”
An attractive, normal seeming, tall, Jewish guy responded to me on Match. Note to self: respond naturally, not as if you can’t believe he wrote you back or that your more excited than when the holiday shaped peanut butter cups come out.
I have a second date tonight with this Israeli guy. His profile says he does private security and I was all “that’s really hot.” Then I come to find out he sells burglar alarms, which I guess is technically private security, but not what I had in mind. I do so love a thigh holster. Instead I found a guy who needs to holster his fork. Wow, I am a raging bitch today.
I’m thinking some people were meant to be single. I’ve been alone more often than not and I’ll always have nieces and nephews to play with. Maybe it won’t be so bad being the only singleton in my family. Besides, it’s not like I’ll ever be able to afford a wedding. Wah wah.
I have a lunch date today and drinks tomorrow and Friday. I’m tired just thinking about it. Also, I need to unpack and put stuff away. My room looks like a closet exploded.I don’t know where all these clothes came from. I must blackout when I shop.
I wonder if I am devoid of emotions. In all the years I’ve been dating there has never been anyone that I looked forward to seeing again, that I was excited to see. Everyone has just been meh. I must be missing something in my DNA.
I was checking out a guy on Jdate and everything was looking good, until I saw that I weighed more than him. I immediately lost all interest. I want to date someone who makes me feel small instead of like an ogre.