Must Love Traif

The diary of one girl's attempt to find a Jewish man who loves bacon as much as she does.
Part of me is curious about what sort of dumbass shit he’ll say. The other part can’t be bothered because it will no doubt be some dumbass shit. I’ll toss a coin.

Part of me is curious about what sort of dumbass shit he’ll say. The other part can’t be bothered because it will no doubt be some dumbass shit. I’ll toss a coin.

Online Dating Remedy

Rock Bottom

My 27 year old roommate (I’m 34) told me to get my shit together and stop drinking so much. I took another chug of sauvignon blanc from the bottle and resolved to get in gear, next week. This week, I’m going to finish that bottle and continue my marathon of USA shows on Netflix. 

Ten rape prevention tips:

1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.

2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.

3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.

4. If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, don’t rape her.

5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her.

6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.

7. Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

8. Use the Buddy System! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times.

9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape someone, blow the whistle until someone comes to stop you.

10. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.

Rape Prevention

Posted by Leigh Hofheimer under Prevention

(via lukeisnotsexy)

(Source: esmre, via ohnoshessingle)

Dr. Feelgood

Apologies

My apologies for the Debbie downer posts. My waning self confidence has gotten the best of me. I’m sure wine doesn’t help. Anyway, please forgive me for the dramatic posts. I’ll try to keep myself in check.

My Worst Fear Has Come True

I am that girl. The girl I swore I’d never be. I’m the girl who pines for a companion. Who’s becoming so desperate that she’s considering a dating coach. I always thought I was an independent woman and could deal with everyone around me being attached, but I’m not and I can’t. Now I’m moping and feel like shit and want to crawl into a dark hole. I’m so disappointed in myself.

I thought about answering because I’ve got nothing else going, but my fingers wouldn’t move. My unconscious consciously disapproved.

I thought about answering because I’ve got nothing else going, but my fingers wouldn’t move. My unconscious consciously disapproved.

Drunk Thoughts

I think I might need a break from Okcupid. I’m really starting to doubt myself and my self confidence is waning. On the bright side, my sister said she would partially subsidize artificial insemination for me. I think everyone knows my love life is DOA.

I sure can pick them.

I sure can pick them.